Hidayah itu dicari. Bukan datang sendiri.

ANTICIPATING

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Right now my family and I are getting ready to go to Kuantan with my aunt and her whole family! It's good that I wanna keep updating my blog but for the past few days nothing really big that I want to write about. Just going out with my friends. It was fun though that I get to see my old friends again. We rarely contacted each other but there was no awkwardness. :)

Anyway, I think this is a pretty big event that I'm really excited about because my family and my aunt's family are really really close with each other. We are literally like brothers and sisters. Us together combined includes my other aunt, my cousin's wife, and my grandma makes us 18 people! It's really hard for us to have a get-together like this because everyone is busy with their own stuff.

We are very lucky (Alhamdulillah) that now everyone is on a holiday. We have decided to got to a short vacation in Kuantan and tomorrow we'll be going to Gambang Waterpark!!! YOSHHHH! So excited! *squeals* *seriously squealing*. yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

InsyaAllah we'll create great sweet memories and nothing bad will happen. Tengok tengok hujan esok tak boleh mandi. T^T

Sokay cuz what matters is the people we are going with, not the place we go to.

Opps, gotta go now! Gotta get ready. You guys enjoy your holiday too!

\(^.^)/

Assalamualaikum :)

Unsettling.

Bismillahirrahamanirrahim

I went for my MEdSI interview today at UiTM Shah Alam. I was really nervous when I arrived. I couldn't think straight and I stuttered even when I was talking to my friends. We all discussed a bit about the current issues in education and I couldn't give any ideas because some of it I didn't even know what they were talking about except about PTPTN. 

I was at TEC-4 and I was with Sri. They were only 6 interviewees including me and Sri. While we were waiting for our turn, Sri and I talked about a lot of things. She loves to talk and give ideas. I got closer with her. 

When it was my time, I got in and there were 2 interviewers and there were really really friendly especially the one who is a lecturer at UiTM. We talked as if we're friends so I feel relieved. And then she asked me why I choose UIA. Lastly they asked me to teach some and I taught a little bit of adjectives. Really simple ones. And then it was over. I was smiling all the way.

When I wanted to go out through the door, I saw the door was not closed properly and I saw Sri smiled widely at me. She said she saw and heard me teaching. It was seriously embarassing but I've done my best.

OK, why is the title 'Unsettling'? It's because I thought that I would feel relieved about getting through interview but I don't. I feel like doing it again because I stuttered at some parts and I said 'have sitted'. T^T And then the lecturer corrected me. SERIOUSLY TAK PUAS HATI. Not with the interviewers of course, I'm not satisfied with myself. 

Oh well, what to do. It's done anyway. I'll just pray what's best for me. 

Oh yea! A reminder for whoever is taking the MEdSI interview and you got UiTM for your choice. BE PREPARED MENTALLY. Some of my friends got bashed, literally bashed by the interviewers. So if you really want this, fight your heart out! 

Peace be upon you. :D

There's always a first time in everything.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

And so, yesterday was my first time joining Jumaah prayers. Weee~

I went to INTEC Shah Alam to get my academic transcript at the office for my interview. It was about 11 o'clock there and my dad decided to get something to eat. We went to a restaurant inside the compound of Masjid Sultan Salahuddin Abdul Aziz Shah. We went there a lot of times even before I went to UiTM.

At first my dad just asked me to wait in the car while the Jumaah prayers conducted but then  I said if I could I wanna join. It would be quite an experience. And it was!

The Masjid was huge and really beautiful. I went upstairs which was the place for Muslimahs. I get to face the Mimbar and I felt really peaceful there. After a few minutes, there was an Ustadz giving tazkirah for about half an hour. He talked about Rejab and how it is a month full of barakah and we should work hard performing our ibadah.

Then suddenly there was a group of people going inside and I saw some people bow down and did the 'ampun tuanku' thing with their hand. I don't know how else to describe it. xD You know what I mean, right? OK. It was the Sultan of Selangor. Suddenly I got so excited over it and peeked down.

Anyway, then there was the khutbah. It was about entertainment in Islam. I'll briefly explain it. It cannot be something that is against the syariah of Islam like songs that lead to maksiat such as describing the appearance of a woman.

Other than that the songs should to be something which brings us closer to Allah. Not something that brings us farther like not performing our daily prayers. Also something that nurture and educate us.

If the singers consist of women, only women can listen to it.

I myself feel guilty of this lagi lagi Kpop but I'll try my best to delete songs that are described by the statements above.

The rest I leave it to you guys but don't forget to listen to nasheeds and zikirs. Maher Zain ada, Sami Yusuf ada. Best tau. Heeee. I recommend you guys to buy Sami Yusuf's Wherever You Are album. You won't regret it. Honestly. InsyaAllah. :)))

Moving on...

Then, it was time for the Jumaah prayer. The Imam recited the verses of Holy Quran beautifully. He recited parts of Surah al-Waqiah for both rakaahs. I know some of the meanings of the verses and it moved my heart deeply. For the second rakaah, I could hear the Iman's voice was different. And then when he recited these verses,


"Kesudahannya: jika ia (yang mati itu) dari orang-orang " Muqarrabiin " (dekat dengan Allah), Maka (ia akan beroleh) rehat kesenangan, dan rahmat kesegaran, serta Syurga kenikmatan. Dan jika ia dari puak kanan, Maka (akan dikatakan kepadanya):" Selamat sejahtera kepadamu, (kerana engkau) dari puak kanan". Dan jika ia dari (puak kiri) yang mendustakan (Rasulnya), lagi sesat, Maka sambutan yang disediakan baginya adalah dari air panas yang menggelegak,
Serta bakaran api neraka. Sesungguhnya (segala yang disebutkan) itu adalah kebenaran yang diyakini. Oleh itu, bertasbihlah dengan memuji nama Tuhanmu Yang Maha Besar." Surah al Waqiah:90-95


When it comes to the verse that I've highlighted, the Imam bursted  in to tears. He couldn't continue after a few tries. I'm sure most of us cried too. And then it was quiet for a moment. The whole Masjid was pin-drop quiet. Then the Imam continued to recite again.

It was really an experience for me, really and I suggest to all Muslimah, at least once, try to join Jumaah prayer. It wouldn't hurt. :)

Peace be upon you :D

It's time to get real.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Yeap, it's time to get real. I really need to sharpen my writing skills and need to keep myself strong to update my blog. Even it's just gonna be only a paragraph long.

Okay, somehow that kinda rhymes.

Moving on.

I'm going to have my MEdSI (Malaysian Educators Selection Inventory) this Sunday which is a ticket for me to pursue in TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language). I'm a big fat liar if I say I'm not nervous at all. I couldn't sleep last night because I was practising the interview inside my head. I made up the questions myself and answered it.

I did it everything in my mind.

So my eyes were wide awake because my brain was functioning hard.

I did my research of people who had gone to the interview and some of them are actually quite enjoyable. They get to sang and even demonstrated Tae Kwan Do moves.

For people who got interviewed in UiTM Shah Alam (which I am going to ._.) they got all mind twisted questions. Some even asked about opinions on politics.

Nevertheless, what they want to test is our personality. I hope I'll be able to go through the session like having a casual conversation between friends, that's what they want in educators.

No need to be all perfect and know-it-all.

I'll just consume myself with some of current issues especially in education and hope for the best.

Wish me luck.

Peace be upon you. :)

Ada udang di sebalik batu.

Bismillahirahmanirahim.

Whether we realize it or not, everything that revolves around us has its reason(s). Now, when I say everything, I mean literally EVERYTHING from the smallest atomic particle to the galaxy up in space. The question is, are we aware of it? Because most probably, it relates to us. Nothing is out of coincidence, Allah is al-Hakim (Maha Bijaksana). He created everything and controls everything with His likes and there is always something good behind it. I'd say, a bless in disguise.

"Everything happens for a reason." We all say and hear this one short sentence a lot, right? However, do we really think of its reasons? Although we are not sure whether the reasons that we had thought might not be right, it could also be true. For whatever reasons, just think and BELIEVE that Allah plans for the better of us. No doubt of that. Not even the slightest.

I'll give you an example. Something bad happened to me. Well, not really that bad, just something regularly happens but it is kinda bad in one way.

Okay, a few days before, I came late to class. I was seriously worried and feel bad for myself. Thank goodness I have a friend who was also late. But after thinking for a few moments, my heart suddenly felt at peace. I thought of the reasons that what if I came earlier as usual? Maybe something bad could happen to me or even to my friend. Accidents, maybe? We would never know. Nevertheless, Allah does. So I just think that Allah had planned it for a good reason or reasons perhaps. Only He knows what is best for us. It's already written in the Luh Mahfuz. For the consequences and what's coming next, we should face it with a bold spirit. Alhamdulillah the lecturer wasn't teaching on that day and she wasn't mad at all. I don't even know whether she realized that we were late or not. -__-'

To end this, I'd like to share you a verse. :)


".....dan boleh jadi kamu benci sesuatu sedangkan ia lebih baik bagimu dan boleh jadi kamu kasihi sesuatu sedangkan ia memudarat kapadamu. Allah mengetahui tetapi kamu tidak mengetahuinya."


Surah al-Baqarah:216


See, it is already stated in the Quranul Karim! All we have to do is to THINK.


For you and for me. ^-^

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah.

PS: Udah sebulan tak update blog. Heheh. Sorry, teramat busy dan juga teramat malas. Ni tiba2 rasa rajin pun sebab tadi baca blog orang lepastu teringin jugak. Idea banyak cuma tak tertulis je. Kalau tak baca blog tadi, mau sebulan lagi tak update. :P

HAKIKATNYA, melafaz Alhamdulillah bukan makna kita bersyukur.

SORRY LAH LAMBAT! TERLUPA PULAK ADA KENE UPDATE. MAKLUMLAH, SAYA NI BUKANNYA BLOGGER BETUL PUNNN. >.<

SORRY SANGAT. Well, here it goes.

So, this was the main topic talked about yesterday night, PRIME TIME (from Maghrib to Isya') at Masjid Khairiyah Taman Sri Gombak.

The talk was given by Ustadz Azhar Idrus. Iye, Ustadz Azhar, oghang ganu tuh. :P

I think I'm gonna cut myself some slack by posting this entry in Bahasa Malaysia. OK? Tapi ada English sikit lah. :)

Warning! Benda ni tunggang terbalik sikit, I just copied what I wrote on my notebook yesterday. Biasalah bila ceramah agama mesti terkeluar topik here and there. Kan kan? So, ampun beribu2 ampun.



Firman Allah:
"Dan ingatlah ketika Tuhanmu berfirman: "Demi sesungguhnya! Jika kamu bersyukur, nescaya akan Aku tambahkan nikmatKu kepada kamu, dan demi sesungguhnya, jika kamu kufur dan ingkar (akan nikmatKu) sesungguhnya azabKu amatlah keras." Surah Ibrahim: 7


Kita ucapakan Alhamdulillah (Segala puji pujian bagi Allah), tak bermaksud kita betul2 bersyukur terhadap nikmatNYA. So, tak termasuklah dalam list orang yang sentiasa bersyukur.

"..Dan engkau tidak akan mendapati kebanyakan mereka bersyukur" Surah al-A'raf : 17

Ramai orang masuk neraka kerana anggota badan utama kita sendiri. Seperti tangan, mulut, mata, telinga, kaki, perut dan etc. Jarang kita dengar orang masuk neraka sebab kepala lutut, sebab siku, sebab sendi dan selanjutnya. So, cara kita nak bersyukur adalah dengan MENGGUNAKAN NIKMAT YANG DIBERI ALLAH DENGAN BERIBADAH KEPADANYA. Haaa, bagi terbeliak sikit mata tu. :P

"Dan sesungguhnya Kami jadikan untuk neraka jahanam banyak dari jin dan manusia yang mempunyai hati (tetapi) tidak mahu memahami dengannya (ayat-ayat Allah), dan yang mempunyai mata (tetapi) tidak mahu melihat dengannya (bukti keesaan Allah) dan yang mempunyai telinga (tetapi) tidak mahu mendengar dengannya (ajaran dan nasihat); mereka itu seperti binatang ternak, bahkan mereka lebih sesat lagi; mereka itulah orang-orang yang lalai." 
Surah al-A'raf:179

Contoh2nya:

Mulut: Sentiasa berzikir, baca al-Quran, menasihati org, etc.
Tangan: Bersedekah
Kaki: Pergi masjid/surau untuk beribadah
Mata: Melihat ciptaan2 Allah
Telinga: Mendengar al-Quran, dengar nasyid.

dan lain lain. Sounds familiar kan? Benda ni ada kita belajar time form 4. Yang kufur nikmat tu. Haa, yang tu lah.  Banyak sangat kalau nak list-kan one by one. Akal itu salah satu nikmat Allah kan? So gunakanlah akal kita untuk berfirkir cara2 lain untuk bersyukur a.k.a. beribadah kepada Allah. Cun? :D

Dah bersyukur, beribadat semua, jangan riya' pulak. Jangan rasa diri kita ni bagus dan cukup layak dah nak masuk syurga. 


Semua perkara yang kita lakukan, kene niat semata-mata kerana ALLAH. SOLELY.

Ada satu kisah seorang 'Sultan' dalam bidang hadis, nama beliau adalah Abdullah ibnu Mubarak. Cuba teka berapa hadith yang beliau hafal? ..........Salaaaaahhh. Jawapannya adalah lebih kurang...

Satu juta dua ratus ribu hadith. Ce tulis in numbers, panjang en? Beliau hafal siap dengan sanad2 (susur galur perawi hadith) dan matannya sekali kot. Hebat kan? Kita ni, satu pun tak perfect nak menghafal<---untuk diri saya jugak. -_-'

Sambung cerita...
Satu hari beliau tertidur berdekatan dengan Kaabah dan bermimpi dua malaikat yang menjelma as humans sedang bercakap-cakap di Hajarul Aswad. (Mimpi beliau adalah benar, kerana mimpi orang yang soleh sentiasa benar) Beliau bertanya kepada malaikat tersebut. Berapa orang yang pergi mengerjakan haji pada tahun ini? 12000. Berapa orang yang mendapat haji mabrur? Tidak lebih daripada 10 orang. I repeat, TIDAK LEBIH DARIPADA SEPULUH ORANG.
Fyi, zaman tersebut adalah zaman yang bergelumang dengan orang2 yang menuntut ilmu. Memang mahsyur lah. Itu pun tak lebih 10 orang. Lagi2 yang nak dibandingkan dengan zaman kita ni. Sussssaaaaaahhhh sangat. So, jangan ingat kita ni dah bersedia nak menghadapi Allah dengan kita sendiri sentiasa mengejar ilmu dunia. Berapa banyak pun amalan2 yang kita dah kumpulkan kalau nak compare? Jangan sombong dengan orang lain WALAUPUN orang tu orang yang fasiq. *Astaghfirullahalazim. :(

Nak contoh lagi satu? Haa, yang ni memang kita kenal sangat. Kalau tak kenal, kena kenali beliau sekarang.

Imam As-Syafie. Ring any bells? :P

Imam As-Syafie ni bila kita lihat balik sejarah beliau, memang membuatkan diri kita ni sangat2 kerdil. Imam as-Syafie telah diberi tauliah oleh tok gurunya (Imam Malik) untuk memberi fatwa pada umur LIMA BELAS TAHUN. Time tu kita semua PMR. Nama Imam Syafie sendiri pun kita jarang dengar time tu. Sesiapa yang mendengar beliau reciting al -Quran, WAJIB menangis (Ustaz yg cakap wajib), sebab Imam as-Syafie baca dari hati yang ikhlas. Umur beliau pada masa itu adalah 9 tahun. Sembilang tahung boh<---terengganu punya slang.

Kita tahu jugak yang Imam as-Syafie manghafal sebanyak 400,000 hadis. Nak tahu Imam as-Syafie cakap apa?
"Aku tak layak masuk syurga"
???????????????????????? Okay, dramatik sikit.
Imam as-Syafie. Imam as-Syafie tu! Beliau rasa tak layak masuk syurga? SubhanAllah.

Korang pernah dengar tak ni? "Wahai Tuhan, ku tak layak ke syurgaMu. Namun aku tak sanggup menghadapi api nerakaMu." Cari kat YouTube cepat! :P Korang pernah dengar kan? Actually, ini adalah syair yang datang daripada Imam as-Syafie sendiri. Yeap, saya pun baru tahu semalam.

So, perbanyakkanlah bertaubat dan beribadah.

Okay, ni masuk topik lain pulak. Saya pun tak pasti macam mana boleh masuk topik ni. Ada terkeluar sikit lah but still in the context of being grateful to Allah. Oh well, we should just grab knowledge whenever, wherever and however we can.

Maksud Hidayah: JALAN yang benar yang diberi oleh Allah.
Maksud Taufiq: PERTOLONGAN dan KEKUATAN yang diberi oleh Allah untuk kita MENUJU ke jalannya.
Ada paham?? :)

Don't worry, there was an example given. :D

Orang yang ADA HIDAYAH tapi TIADA TAUFIQ:

Situasinya pertama:

*depan rumah, berpusu-pusu kereta lalu menuju ke masjid
A: Eh ehhh, ramainya orang pergi masjid tuuuu!!! Ada ceramah rasanya. Wah, bagus betul orang-orang ni kan.
Next door brader: Iye, betul2. Awak tak pergi ke?
A: Oh, tak tak! :)

Haaa, dia ada hidayah.  Dah nampak dah pun hidayahNya. Tapi tiada taufiq. Get it? Got it? Good. :B

Kita dah diberi NIKMAT hidayah untuk masuk Islam, so, doa banyak2 kepada Allah agar diberi taufiq selalu untuk kita bersyukur kepadaNya iaitu dengan apa murid2? Beribadah cikguuu. :P

*Sorry, nak dekat midnight ni memang otak jadi bengong sikit. -_-'

"So, apa yang kita kena buat sekarang?"<---imaginary self asking question.

Saya listkan okeh

• Bersyukurlah dalam SETIAP perkara.
• Nampak sahaja kemungakaran, kena tegur. (Tak kisah kalau kene hentam balik, yang penting niat kerana Allah)
• Kita kena sentiasa bersifat tawadu'. (Rendah diri/humble)
• Jangan lupa, sentiasalah bertaubat kepada Allah. 

Situasi kedua:

A: Boh, mung buak zina banyok ko? (Bos, awak buat zina banyak ke)
B: Banyok bohh! Tapi takdok lah setiak hari. (Banyak boss, tapi takdelah setiap hari)

Kita buat zina 100 kali pun lepastu bertaubat, Allah akan ampunkan ON THE SPOT!


Ada cerita lagi ni tau.

Ada seorang fasiq pada zaman Nabi Musa a.s. Beliau sentiasa buat maksiat, memang teruk. Then bila ajal nak sampai, beliau sempat bertaubat kepada Allah. Di tangannya masih lagi memegang sebotol arak. Tapi Allah tetap menerima taubatnya. Ya Rahim. Orang kampung tak tahu yang beliau dah bertaubat lalu mayatnya dicampak di dalam najis.
Allah telah mengwahyukan kepada Nabi Musa a.s. untuk uruskan jenazah beliau dengan sempurna. So, Nabi Musa pun pergi inform kan dekat orang2 kampung tapi orang2 kampung tak percaya. Jadi, Nabi Musa uruskanlah jenazah tu sendiri.
See, Allah Maha Pengampun. Kene sentiasa bersangka baik kat Allah.
Kita tahu kasih sayang seorang ibu memang powerful kan? Kasih sayang Allah jauh lebih banyak daripada seorang ibu. Imagine that. :')

Dah, ini baru entry pertama. Ada dua lagi entries so, yang tu kene tunggu lagi. Sorry kalau ada grammatical or spelling errors. Do tell me where I got wrong. :)

Peace be upon you. :)

Tunggu kejap eh

Dalam drafts, tapi tak edit lagi. Tunggu sat naa. Japgi dia kluaq. InsyaAllah. :)

Anak yang istimewa hanya dikurniakan kepada orang yang istimewa. It takes one to have one.

Haaaa, Bahasa Melayu pulak. Macam takde mood nak tulis dalam English. *sigh I should, right?

OK. I watched Semanis Kurma today. It was entitled "Rezeki di Hujung Umur". Meaning you're pregnant at an old age. Mostly in the 40's. They invited three special person. Fisrtly Dr Halina who is a Gynaecologist (pakar sakit puan), and then there was Puan Roslinda and Puan Maizatul who were both pregnant in their 40's.

I'll just say what came first into my mind. Here it goes!

One lady called, she said she wanted to make a family plan. She asked whether is it okay to not WANT to have a child anymore?? Is it haram? I really pitied her. I think she cried while she was on the phone. Dr Halina said that it is not. She has every right to do so. Doctors should help her to make it happen. Then Ustazah Nurbayah added that even though she doesn't want it but it is not her own decision. She should ask her husband first. If her husband said okay then she can. If it's otherwise, she still has to obey him. Remember, syurga di bawah tapak kaki suami. (Malas nak translate because it doesn't sound that good in English. In my opinionlah.)

My own opinion: Don't judge her. Even though she doesn't want any child anymore that doesn't mean she hates children. Maybe she has problems and only Allah knows.

Another case:
Another lady called. She's been married with her husband for 9 years now and at the same time, she had miscarriages for 8 times. Yes, you read that right. EIGHT times! I was amazed. MasyaAllah how tough she was and is to have had events/situations like that. It maybe seems unfortunate but I am sure Allah has something for her. I respect her patience. She asked for tips to have a baby of her own.

This is what I only got to list down.

Read:
Surah Al-Fatihah.
Surah Mariam
Surah al-Luqman untuk kecerdikan
Surah Yusuf untuk kecantikan akhlak dan rupa
Surah Yasiin untuk kekuatan jati diri

The first two surahs, I couldn't catch what were it for. Sorry.

Also read:
Surah al-Kahfi:39 Mohon zuriat, kuatkan kandungan agar tak gugur, harta yang berkat dan jodoh yang baik.
Surah al-Anbiya:89 & ali-Imran:38 Untuk zuriat yang soleh/solehah

Okay. Now for the two guests that came.

Firstly is Puan Maizatul. When she had her 5th child, she was at the age of 39. After 9 months, she found out that she was pregnant again and she was feeling very very excited for it. Then after telling her husband and friends about the amazing news, suddenly she got scared. She got scared of what might happened to her baby. She had thyroid before and she had her miscarriage at that time. She scared it might occurred to her again. Nevertheless, she managed to gave birth to her 6th child just about a few months ago if I'm not mistaken. She said we should strive for whatever bound to happen and to be strong.

Okay, I save the best for the last. This one is my favourite and it relates to the title up there. Puan Roslinda.

*Betulke Puan Roslinda? Ke nama lain? //scrolling up Perh, nagntuk bebenor dah ni*

Her first child was a down syndrome child. At first she couldn't really accept the fact that she had given birth to a special child and then after years of taking care of the child, she said that child is the one that taught her to be a composed person and  potent. Yes, it takes one to have one. Allah gives her a special child because she, herself IS SPECIAL. Puan Roslinda also said that her first child didn't make her to give up for having another child. Instead, she tried harder to give birth to another normal child. Alhamdulillah, after 5 years, her prayer was fulfilled.

Huhhhhhh, done! Alhamdulillah! Sorry if I was mumbling to much. I warned you I can't write a good piece.

Btw, maybe some people would say, why should I know this now? This isn't important. Wait a sec! Chop dulu! When knowledge comes, you have to grasp it wherever and whenever. There is no such thing as "the right time" to attain knowledge. IT IS NEVER TOO EARLY TO PREPARE.

Sorry kalau ada silap dan salah.

Assalamualaykum. May Allah blesses you.

Sharing is caring.

Since I'm quite bored...OK fine! I'm dead bored. Anyway, I decided to write again after a month. :V

Oh crap, I forgot what to write.

[paused]

Okay, I decided to write again because I think I have a lot to share with you guys! Guys, I mean whoever is reading this or probably no one. Also, I need to practice my writing skills. I LOVE TO READ but I hate hate to write because I don't really know how to write a good piece.

Okay, serious time.

There was an event that happened yesterday that really gave me a wake up call. It taught me how important it is to share whatever knowledge you got. You can't just assume that they know it already because most probably, they don't. Yeah. I thought my friends knew this one thing (cannot be said here) which is pretty bad and a lot of people around me said that this 'thing/action' is haram. So I thought they knew and I didn't say anything to them. I seriously did not know they are oblivious about this and they were shocked when they found out. I was blown away by their reaction. I felt really REALLY guilty for not telling them. I felt like a loser. I felt like a very ignorant person who tried to threw her beloved friends into hell fire. Literally. I wanted to cry but something was holding me back. Myself. In the midst of feeling upset, a voice told me, "Why should you cry? It is your fault. Why didn't you tell them? You think you're all goody2 will the knowledge you have but you just bury them under the hatch for yourself. Should you call yourself a friend to them?" Really. It keeps ringing in my mind. So I explained everything to them. Also, I did say I was scared to tell them because I wasn't ready to advise people, yet. You know what was the situation like? They both were quite. Pin-drop quite, I TELL YA! Oh yeah, forgot to mention. We were skype-ing. There were three of us. I asked them and one of my friend said she was still digesting my words. I sounded really upset and frustrated and the other friend comforted me but not really in a comforting tone. More like why-didn't-you-tell-us-this-plus-partially-comforting tone. I don't know whether you guys can imagine that. I felt like slitting my wrists that time. Yes folks, I felt useless. Then I remembered earlier, a friend of mine said that what's important is my intention and that washed away a little fraction of guilt in me. I felt a bit better. Suddenly the atmosphere was very intense. It was quite. Too quite and then everyone wanted to leave. But the call ended quite okay. With a bit of laughter. Still, I felt guilty and from that day on, I said to myself that I'll try hard to help my friends and keep sharing every bits of knowledge that I have.